I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
