are you still at the devil's house?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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