No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just tell him i said nine months
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
