I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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