the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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