thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
