it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
