I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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