I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
