that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
