every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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