nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
