I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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