bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
