He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
