I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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