you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
