just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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