return my video game
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
