i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
