were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
