the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
