I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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