I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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