Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
