Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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