I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
