i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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