You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
