Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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