i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
