We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
