I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize