I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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