East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm like, not good at living.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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