This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
