I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
