He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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