Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
