Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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