I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
