I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize