Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
