he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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