Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
