We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
