I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize