ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
