It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
