Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
