And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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