just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
