I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
