where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
