i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
