how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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