if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
