if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
