Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
