eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
