I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
and you fell through a lawn chair
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
