it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
