hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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