TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
