One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
