that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
