I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
