Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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