Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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