just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is wine microwaveable?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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