dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
