Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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