it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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