Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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