Kiss
Puke
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
