Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
