found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize