Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
