His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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