yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
